Angel #1...The Golden Rule

I admit to winning most skirmishes with humility and my modest wife is always accusing me of (excessive) self-promotion, consequently to make her happy, I’m using myself for the “angel” example. I didn’t covert anybody (to what anyway?) or save any souls, but I may have saved a propeller…at the least.

Big deal! you say? Ever checked out the cost of a damaged lower unit…(on an outboard boat motor, get your mind out of the gutter)… much less the inconvenience of being stranded on the water and hoping an angel comes along before being washed up on some rocks somewhere? Anyway here’s the story: 

It was a beautiful spring day up on my lake—Vermilion—and so I decided to take a little sunset kayak around Strawberry Island near my home/cabin. As I was heading toward the island, I noticed something bobbing in the middle of the passage between the point and the island. Being of a curious breed, I paddled over to take a look. I found about a six to seven foot dock post mostly submerged with a spike sticking menacing up high into the air. It looked like a weapon poised to pierce anything that came near… especially a boat going too fast to see it, anchored by a water-logged post prepared to wreck any prop or take out a lower unit…something all guys dread.

Being a firm believer in the “golden rule,” (as are most angels, I suspect) I decided I had to move it out of harm’s way. I certainly wouldn’t want to hit anything like it in my Grady White. At first I tried to propel it forward with my paddle, but, it being water-logged and heavy, this strategy was more effective in propelling me backward than the post forward. So, I grabbed the menacing spike and attempted to head toward the rocky shoreline of the island. If you’ve ever kayaked or even considered it, you’d know it’s desirable if not necessary to use two hands on the paddle to efficiently move forward. But being the determined angel I was, I paddled miraculously with one hand and managed to drag the heavy, water-logged, dangerous weapon to the shore.  

Ok, I ‘m feeling my lovely wife would tell me to apologize here as this is getting probably lengthier than necessary (she’s adamant, although brief, in maintaining I’m verbose…but, really, where would I be without verbs in this instance?). BUT, when I neared the shore of the island, submerged rocks prevented me from getting close enough to actually maneuver the heavy, dangerous post out of the water and up onto dry land. But, being a thoughtful angel, I surmised it was not a done deed if I left the weapon afloat where it could potentially blow right back out into harm’s way and be right back where we started. So, after a spirited one- handed effort, I scraped over the submerged boulders and completed the task.

So, there you have the “Angel” aspect of “Angels and Assholes.” Nothing outrageously brave, just a simple act of kindness born out of the “golden rule.” Anybody but a lazy, inconsiderate asshole would have done what I did…right?